You will call Me Ishi

From the Hebrew name הוֹשֵׁעַ (Hoshe'a) meaning "salvation". God is so faithful to redeem.

Starting at: Hosea 2:14

"Therefore, behold (see with attention), I will allure her [Isreal, My people] and bring her into the wilderness (a barren space, a hard time, stagnant, lonely, the wilderness sets us away from all our distractions, our false-loves, makes us aware of our harlotry [yes, harlotry; any time we place anything else as our: most prized possession, continual first-choice passtime, comfort/joy/strength when we are in need], and allows Him to get our full attention without having to compete with anything else- we are barren and re-realize our true, desperate need of Him), and I will speak tenderly and to her heart. (how faithfully He whispers for us to return to Him!) 15 There I will give her her vineyards and make the Valley of Achor [troubling] to be for her a door of hope and expecation. And she shall sing there (because even in the wilderness, He is faithful and worthy of praise, He is trustworthy and renews our spirit) and respond as in the days of her youth (like the young love we experienced first coming to know Him, fervent desire and adoration, faithful in seeking Him, His presense, His heart) and as at the time when she came up out of the land of Egypt.(we have been through this before, and He has proven more steadfast and more willing to remind us of our First Love until we again grasp the full meaning!) 16 And it shall be in that day, says the Lord, that you will call Me Ishi [my Husband], and you shall no more call Me Baali [my Baal].(He is not a distant God, though He alone is "Holy, Holy, Holy" [to the Jews, saying something three times over demonstrated its perfection] and just in His reign; He desires intimacy with us as between a husband and wife, which is a unique and [such a] personal, sacred experience, it ties the two together infinitely) 17 For I will take away the names of Baalim [the Baals] out of her mouth, and they shall no more be mentioned or seriously remembered by their name. 18 And in that day will I (yet again, willingly) make a covenant for Isreal [My people] with the living creatures of the open country and with the birds of the heavens and with the creeping things of the ground. And I will break the bow and the sword [abolish battle equipment and] conflict out of the land and will make you lie down safely. 19 And I will betroth you to Me forever (no end can be found); yes, I will betroth you to Me in righteousness (holiness; purity; uprightness; rectitude; free from sin or guilt) and justice, in steadfast (not shakable; unwavering; unbendable)love, and in mercy. 20 I will even betroth you [Lo-Ammi: not-My-people] to Me in stability and in faithfulness, and you shall know (recognize, be acquainted with, appreciate, give heed to, and cherish) the Lord. (back to the basics, back to falling inlove, desiring, persuing, and obtaining His heart, the experience of knowing Him, not just knowledge of Him) 21 And in that day I will respond, says the Lord; I will respond to the heavens [which as for rain to pour on the earth], and they shall respond to the earth [which begs for the rain it needs, 22 And the earth shall respond to the grain and the wine and the oil [which beseech it to bring them forth], and these shall respond to Jezreel [God-sows; spiritually reborn/restored Isreal, the people whom the Lord has blessed, who prays for a supply of them]. 23 And I will sow her for Myself anew in the land, and I will have love, pity and mercy for her [Lo-Ruhamah:not-pitied] who had not obtained love, pity and mercy; and I will say to those who were not my people, You are My people, and they shall say, You are my God!"

Amen (so be it), in my heart, evermore.

How truly willing am I, to live my life being an example of the Lord's heart, as Hosea did, walking steadily into heartache, betrayal, abandonment, discomfort? We read his story hear, and we see that he, his wife, their children, are just examples, pawns used for a greater plan, the chastisement and restoration of Israel; he does not get arrogant as though he has rights to a certain life, as though being a "pawn" of the Lord is unjust or toyed with.

If my life were to be written as a story, what role would I assume? Will I be found walking along as the Main Character, or will I truly walk in the joy of understanding that HE is the Main Character, and my life is just the three-fifths of a second as an extra in one scene?

Oh, that I would have the heart of Hosea, to hear You and obey You to whatever end, following Your instruction word for word, and never questioning, never forsaking the path You have set me on. For Your plan is eternal and far exceeds my knowledge or understanding, and is always, always worth the cost.

What is my life's story?

melatonin

sleep is just an escape

for the lucky ones that find it

a place reality cannot enter

resting soundly while the boat sails on

settle for a little slumber

it's not running away if your legs aren't moving

you are going nowhere, stagnant

the cycle continues and you have no control

your only hope is finding fleeting instances
where all you see is the inside of your eyelids

your cure is yet to be found

you're alone in this game and you're getting weaker

voices make their way through these walls

reminders that no matter what, you are separated

your pain is your strength

the sailor is eventually swallowed by the sea

1002itm 11410

falling slowly, hardly knowing where things lead

protectiveness and possibilities

eyes that never sleep and lips that never speak

but oh, these ears hear everything

this mind, it thinks too much

this heart, it feels too much

enough for them and them some more

but deciphering itself would seem impossible

my dear, you are indeed complex

but intricate doesn't always make for interesting

you need some time, you need some space

but neither are the barriers you hope them to be

running and hiding, the coward's game

coming out of your comfortable cocoon, too soon?

when staying risks being eaten before you see daylight

vow

endlessly i'll love you, but that's not a promise i can make if every day my lungs move to keep me breathing, and my heart pumps to keep blood flowing. so captivated and relentless, i'll be your slave to be no more enslaved to my immunity of stillness, evermore i'll be just as i am, which isn't good enough for you, but always striving for the hooded hawk that flies to hunt and returns at the whistle.

she sees that i see

but with her persuading vibrato

she keeps the others enchanted

using unprettied words, i seek the answer

laughing off the pointed untruth, they sigh

pretend with me, she begs with bashful eyes

ignore intuition? i begin to despise

new eyes

i once cried my woes,

to an old and weathered man,

he listened so intently,

as only aged men can.

i told him of my troubles,

of how i'd been played out.

i asked him "what's the purpose?"

and he said, "you'll soon find out."

"you see, my child," he began,

"you distress over your loss,

like someone expecting to receive

flowers sprouting from a cross."

"but a cross is what we carry,

and yours is as rare as they come.

there are those that have a lighter path,

while there is only adversity, for some."

"a heart beating for others

is both a cursed and blessed state,

when all you have is all you give,

all you are is there for them to take."

"though your solitude makes you stronger,

and there is peace in being an island,

there are only endless waters surrounding,

perimeters often set, changed, and moved by them."

"a heart that big is only good for one thing,

and, alas, hurting is what it is.

if you've come to seek a change of fate,

just remember that what you feel is His."

riddles

and so we wonder

at the chance meeting of two souls

so similar and so different

flying, but wings beating separately

a look, a laugh

a heart to keep it pumping

this is my quiet stream